God, Baby, and Trying to Conceive

After 2+ years of baby fever, my husband has finally agreed that we could start trying for a baby back in November! Half a year before we had originally agreed to start trying. I was so excited that I started prepping for it. Being a type-A personality I did everything I could to research everything I could. I had started temping, reading blogs and articles online, etc. However, 4 months into it, I've learned that I am NOT in control of this whole process at all. Meaning we can do everything we can to get pregnant but in the end, it's not up to me, my husband, or anything we do. It's up to God and His perfect timing. How could I have lost track of that during all my research and planning?! I've recently been diving into God's word to rest upon His truths and promises. I am trying to learn that no matter what happens, when anything happens, if anything happens, that I still need to glorify God to the fullest. Every day is a struggle of anxiety, nervousness, fear, and anger that it's not happening on my timeline. God is teaching me everyday about patience, having joy through the hard times, taking away jealousy or any bad thoughts I have towards anyone else, and that His plan is so much better than any plan I could have for myself. Everyday I pray for His peace to rest on my heart and I lift up my anxieties and fears up to Him. Even though I still struggle in my faith throughout the day, ultimately I know that He loves me and He has an awesome plan for me. Here are some verses that have been comforting me lately:

    And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
  (Romans 8:28 ESV)

    Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
(Philippians 4:4-7 ESV)

    Search me, O God, and know my heart!
        Try me and know my thoughts!
    And see if there be any grievous way in me,
        and lead me in the way everlasting!
  (Psalm 139:23-24 ESV)

So this blog is just a way to capture my thoughts throughout this whole process. I pray everyday for God to bless us with a baby but I know that He is in control and He is sovereign and has a plan far greater than I can even imagine.